Sexpert exposes casual sex mistake as many believe ‘misleading’ myth

Sexuality coach, Pallavi Barnwal, has over 53,000 followers on Instagram and regularly offers people tips on dating and sex – now she’s spoken out about casual relationships

A sexpert has claimed the term “casual sex” should be binned as it’s “misleading” and does not mean “masturbating inside the body of another person”.

Sexuality and relationship coach, Pallavi Barnwal, has over 53,000 followers on Instagram and she works to help couples have secure relationships that are full of passion.

More recently she’s opened up about the importance of discussing “casual sex” and thinks we should bin the term.

Pallavi said she thinks the term “casual” can be “misleading”, as it “doesn’t entitle one to see a person as no more than a sex toy”.

She said she learnt a lot more about it when she spent some time on a dating app a few years back, and claimed it taught her a lot about modern relationships and people’s mindsets.

But the sexpert claims even if a relationship isn’t extremely serious it doesn’t mean you “ignore the needs of someone”.

The sexpert shared a direct message about "casual" sex
The sexpert shared a direct message about the topic on Instagram (Image: coachpallavibarnwal/Instagram)

Writing on Instagram, Pallavi said: “I have somewhat a problem with the word ‘casual’ in casual sex.

“The word ‘casual’ is misleading, and I have seen this being misused by a lot of people in their sexual encounters with other people.

“Casual sex is not masturbating inside the body of another person. People are bodies + emotions + mind combined.

“And casual sex doesn’t entitle one to see a person as no more than a sex toy.

“In early 2021, after coming out of a relationship, I went on a dating app for a while – about two months.

Pallavi Barnwal regularly shares relationship advice with her followers
Pallavi Barnwal regularly shares relationship advice with her followers (Image: coachpallavibarnwal/Instagram)

“That tenure, taught me a lot about relationships, relating and people’s mindsets.

“For ex: I met a man, who would do breadcrumb communication.

“He would not reply to my texts for hours to days at stretch and the moment I deleted his number which meant, my profile pic became invisible on his phone screen, he immediately showered attention, only to simmer it down from the time I started responding.

“Another time, six years back when I was with a man at his house, and suddenly in the early morning his cousin came unannounced and I had to leave at 5am since there was only one bed in the house.

“That experience in the hindsight was humiliating and degrading.

A couple have sex in bed
She doesn’t think the term “casual” is the correct word to use (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)


“Here is the thing: casual sex doesn’t automatically mean you don’t care about other person’s pleasure, you ignore the needs of someone, you block away feelings and emotions or you bully, force or gaslit someone into serving your sexual needs.”

Since opening up about the issue, the sexpert has received a lot of attention online.

The post has accumulated over 700 likes, and some people have claimed she “nailed” describing the reality of the situation.

One person said: “I loved this explanation. Dating apps are literally ruining it for us.

“There’s no in-between it seems.”

A second added: “Read your caption always thrice. So much to learn from your experience.”

Meanwhile, a third commented: “I don’t understand how sex can be casual.

“The act itself is so deep that it’s more than body – it’s mind – that plays a crucial role here and can never be casual.”